Cuba Trip
Posted by: nazias on: June 3, 2009
All the people who have me on FB already have been bombarded with my Cuba pics, so I decided I’ll share my Cuba experience in words here.
I went to Varadero for a week last week with a few close friends. One of the best vacations of my life. We stayed at a very nice resort called Iberostar Varadero, if you’re planning Cuba, do go there!
The Good stuff
- The beach was amazing! Cuba water was much better than Dominican in my opinion, warmer, clearer and overall just breathtaking.
- The maid/waitress service, they were friendly, prompt and did go above and beyond!
- Excursions, lots and lots of excursions to choose from, it will appeal to the traveler who want to see the old towns to the people who want to enjoy water sports. We rode a jet ski, which is something we always wanted to do but it was banned in Dominican.
- Weather. We went at the beginning of rain season, and would get 5 minutes of it everyday but it was the best thing ever because it would stay partly cloudy in the afternoons, so the ridiculously hot sun wouldn’t burn us constantly.
- The papaya…You have not had papaya if you do not have it in Cuba, because I swear it tastes perfect…it’s firm, and really sweet…I had it every meal, every day…
- Scooter/Vespa ride, we rented a scooter and went to the mall, best ride ever, especially because on the drive you had the ocean on one side of the road….simply unbeatable.
- Catamaran ride, Cuba is not complete without a catamaran ride…the ocean breeze, the snorkeling…sigh…. Fun fun fun
- Finding real starfish in the ocean floor (mommy and baby)
- Finally, a trip like this really lets you get to know your friends… a road trip adds in extra stress of driving, camping adds in task of cooking food etc. over there it’s pure relaxation, and just chatting about fun stuff…I swear we spent hours in the pool/ocean just joking around…I truly do love my friends!
Some memorable quotes,
“Even Shit floats”, after a 2 hour convo regarding not being able to float in water.
“Gayness is celebrated whoriness isn’t” my big argument with S about him calling every metro guy gay and me calling skanky girls whores, and how it’s the same thing (he argued its different)
“I don’t like it deep, just in my mouth” S’s comment after smoking his first Cigar, he realized the double meaning after he said it 
There were many many more and I swear sometimes we almost drowned cause we laughed so much.
The Gripes
- Food food food….we stayed at a 5 star resort, and the food was not even close to the Dominican 5 star we stayed at. The a la carte restaurants were okay, we did have lobster twice, the buffet got repetitive for lunch… but I understand that because of the sanctions trading is limited…and I was warned about this before….also if you only eat halal, prepare to live in hell…cause I wasn’t very impressed with the seafood, kind of found the fish dishes fishy smelling(that’s the only way I can explain it, but I think you guys know what I mean), and the veggies dishes were meh..except they did make amazing brussel sprouts! I practically lived on their roast beef!
- The tipping thing… I am a good tipper… don’t have any issues with it, and we always make sure to take enough to tip all but in Cuba they kept on repeatedly reminding us to tip! Like sometimes they would tell you how much to tip… I know they are poor, Dominican was poor too, but I never felt like I was coerced into tipping…found it a little uncomfortable..
- The currency thing… they really rip you off over there, 1 Convertible Peso costs you 1.25 Canadian…and it really is this made up money that you can’t use/exchange anywhere else…. A total rip off
And just general Whining
I’m back so tanned that 95% of my clothes don’t suit me anymore, since I wear a lot of bright reds/pinks/greens/yellows! I have to stick to more neutral and earthy tones for the next little while (sucks that its summer though). Still haven’t shown my new face to mom or mother-in-law, they are bound to freak (again)
And my contacts now look a bit off, I wear the grey contacts which looks good normally, but now looks like I’m trying too hard. And what makes it worse is in the past 3 days I’ve been asked 5 times if they are my real color, or hear someone say, “I didn’t know you wore colored contacts”, while before the contacts blended in more, now it just stands out…. If I didn’t have 10 more pairs of this color, I would’ve opted for hazel or green for the next 3 months!
Overall a great week, great memories, and hoping we can do it again
The Scare Tactic
Posted by: nazias on: June 2, 2009
I am not very religious when it comes to practicing. I eat non halal food, I wear skirts all the time, and I usually don’t pray 5 times a day. I have always been more spiritual, and I’ll be honest, the times I do feel closest to god is when I pray and when I fast, and I feel bad that I don’t always do it, and one day I do hope to do them regularly.
So that being said, here is what irks me about Muslim people in general, or at least in my culture…especially elders.
I keep noticing a pattern of associating Islam with threats.
For example, I went over to my moms house, and I was wearing a skirt, a knee length pencil skirt. I am by no means a skanky dresser, I believe in sexy not sleazy. My boobs never hang out, nor will u ever see me in hot pants at your local grocery store. Nonetheless I wear a lot of skirts, capris etc. My mom starts lecturing me on the wraths of hell I will face and that god is watching, and how being shameless will take me to hell etc.
And this is not the case with just me, I constantly hear similar arguments about everything, if you don’t do this in Islam you will burn in hell, and then people go into descriptions of the punishment you will receive.
See I’m an optimist. I don’t like hearing these things and scare tactics often do the opposite for me. Because I end up saying, if I am a good person and don’t hurt people, but I wear skirts, is that worse than someone who is covered up yet purposely causes people harm with gossip, lies and hurtful words?
I’d like to believe that my god sees everything, he knows how I think, how I feel about things, and that he understands me on a deeper level than anyone else, and that he will forgive my smaller sins by looking at the good things I have done, is that wrong?
Is it wrong to want to have a relationship with god that is not rooted with fear? I want the main reason for me to believe in god is because I love him and believe in him than do it out of fear. On the note of fear, I do fear god, when I am on a plane, I pray to him and I say that I know he has the power to crash the plane but I also say that I know he won’t do it because there are good people on that plane.
I would much rather prefer people preaching things on a more positive note, like saying, yes it is against our religion to do this, think it through, if you feel you have done something wrong, ask for forgiveness, and god will forgive you.
Or hearing more about being a good person is worth something in our religion, rather than hearing about how god will punish a man for wearing gold by burning his neck with rings of fire.
Has scare tactics really become the only way people now educate each other in Islam?
Drama Queens
Posted by: nazias on: May 21, 2009
Drama Queens
I always thought Bollywood overdramatized the mothers of India…the over dramatic lines, the gossiping, the ultimatums…everything… but as each year passes I’m starting to realize how true to form they are.
I’ll give a couple of examples from my own life. Note, I love my mom, but sometimes I find her to be straight out of a TV serial.
So this week has been crazy for me. I’m leaving for Cuba next month and I have projects all over the place that need to be tended to. So I’ve been working late, then add in a low calorie diet cause I have lost only 1 pound of the 10 I hoped to lose, and the exercise I finally started…basically I’m pooped to say the least…
Even then I call my mom almost EVERYDAY.
So just on Wednesday, I completely forgot since I was not on my desk most of the day. I call this morning, this is how my mother greets me,
“So you finally remembered your dying mother?”
Seriously, my mother is not even close to dying! Yes she has rheumatic arthritis and she does get pains, for which she has medications, but she is NOT dying.
And also, do you know what she talks about when I call her?
I called her Tuesday and for 30 minutes she was talking about an aunty(who I’ve met twice in my life) I ran into at a party, and how sisters son was lured into a marriage by some other aunty’s-sister’s-husbands-sister’s daughter. She even went on to the details of what they fed the boy when they “lured” him into a trap by inviting him over to their house.
Now seriously, maybe its just me, but I really don’t give a shit.
My mom doesn’t work, she has hours and hours to think about nonsense such as this or which sari someone wore 3 years ago, but frankly I don’t. I get 2-3 hours of free thinking time, and I divide it up into 1)thinking about my favorite TV shows 2)what unnecessary item I really ‘need’ 3)what crazy diet I can go on next 4)my hubby and cat and before you think I’m a complete idiot, I
I try to exercise my brain by reading and analyzing literature.
Anyways, forget me having free time to actually physically do stuff, I lack time to even freely think some days, so shoot me for not wanting to hear about which aunty did what, or whose daughter looked terrible in what outfit on a regular basis. I enjoy a good gossip and criticizing session(because I am a Virgo and I am very critical) but it’s not something that I like to do every day….
It’s not just my mother too, I have seen throughout my life that other mothers do the same…
My mother in law is famous for giving death threats for not finishing food. I have aunts who can pass a gossip through 4 continents within a span of an hour as if someone having a boyfriend is on the same level news as the death of a family member.
I really wonder sometimes if being a Drama Queen is a fulltime job…and if it is, does it pay well? ‘Cause I think I may need to switch careers if that’s the case.
Regret
Posted by: nazias on: April 24, 2009
I’ve lived a very spoiled life. Up until yesterday my regrets have been about clothes, weight, silly fights, and everything else that barely matters to me now. My grandmother died yesterday. I haven’t lived in Bangladesh for almost 20 years. I basically grew up abroad, and only saw my grandmother when she came to visit us twice, and also once when I went back to visit. I did love her.Alot. But it was one of those things, I never called her except for the “How are you calls?”, and just assumed she’d always be there. She has been sick the past year, and I knew, but after the first few times I called her, her being sick became normal, and I didn’t call anymore. I was busy with the life over here. So when my mom called me Thursday night and said, your grandmothers very sick, I replied with a “She’ll be fine, she’s strong, she will be ok”. The next day I get a call saying her heart gave out. Yesterday I realized what real regret is about, because there really is nothing you can take back or change, and all you are left with is regret for something you could’ve done, but chose not to. This past January, my parents went back for a month. They offered to pay for my ticket so I can see her. I wanted to go too. I had the vacation days. But my husband didn’t. And I am traditional at heart. I was concerned about what my family and in-laws would think of me going back to BD for the first time after getting married without my husband. I wanted to do it properly. So we decided this December would be it. Because at that time, my husband’s brother can go too, and it will be a family trip. But I never looked at it like god giving me a sign, my vacation days needed to be taken in January, the money was taken care of, all I had to do was board that plane. But I chose not to. I chose to make other plans, my perfect plans, the way I wanted my BD trip, the way I thought it should be…. And in my plans I forgot to include the most important thing of all, will my grandmother be alive when I go? In my mind, that was a given. She’s part of the Bangladesh picture I keep inside my head, my grandmother in her house just waiting. She was a constant. I never thought a day would come that she wouldn’t be there when I go. I am having a really hard time accepting this. The last time a family member died was my 21 year old cousin. Whose death taught me to live life to the fullest. He was someone who spent his whole life talking about how he would do the things he enjoys tomorrow, now was the time for hard work. He worked, saved, studied. When I asked him, why don’t you do this or that, he always said, “I have time”. He didn’t. With this death I learned the real meaning of regret for the choices we make. Because there’s no way I can ever turn back time and say I’m sorry I didn’t call you, I’m sorry I didn’t come and that I miss you.
The Cook who can’t cook rice….
Posted by: nazias on: April 7, 2009
I can make fancy cakes, delicious butter chicken, tasty stir fries and alot more but I cannot cook rice….
can anyone give me a good, proper measurement, and directions to make the perfect white rice? Whenever i ask my mom she’s givesme some garbage about 4 fingers length that makes no sense to me…just like all ehr other recipes where she tells me to put a pinch of this and a dash of that!!!
Changing Outlook/Growing Up
Posted by: nazias on: March 30, 2009
I know I’m 26…but I think I’m finally growing up. And it wassn’t the fact that I work fulltime, feed my family (a hungry hubby and a hungry cat), handle the parents, handle the inlaws, deal with money issues and everything else… none of those made me realise that I have changed a lot since 3 years ago… but it was the simple fact that my taste in movies have changed…or expanded….
There was a time when I would refuse to watch a movie that was sad, there was no ifs, buts or whats about it….if the movie had a sad ending I wouldn’t watch it… Also if the male lead was ugly/too old/too chubby (not a la john abraham) I didn’t feel the need to watch it…eye candy in a movie was important… yet now I find myself watching movies I would’ve never watched before… and disliking movies which I would’ve loved before…
It all started this weekend when I passed my cold to my husband…
Now my husbands an active guy….even when the weather is bad and no one in their right mind wants to drive outside, he’s outside driving 30 minutes to go play hockey. And when the weather is warm, he plays hockey, tennis, badminton and golf…sometimes all in one week… who am I to complain, it keeps him in great shape and also keeps him from annoying me while I read 
So since he was sick on Sunday… we watched movies all day! Thus my epiphany on growing up! Take for example the movie Sabrina… the black and white one with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. I was never able to finish that before even though I am a die hard Hepburn fan, why? Bogart is an old fart. Yet, I watched all of it on Sunday and actually thought Bogart was attractive, especially his dialogues.
Then the movie, Socha Na Tha. Cute movie, in my younger days, I probably would’ve loved it and rewatched it…but even though I thought it was cute, I found the whole premise and the charecters childish, and just silly…. Even though I found it overall an okay movie, I doubt I would watch it again.
Also my hubby finally got me to watch The Last Samurai. Hubby is a HUGE Tom Cruise fan, even though he denies it… but he is…. He’s one step away from jumping on couches declaring his love for him! I’ve never seen it, and hubby has been nagging me for years…finally watched it and loved it… it’s like I’m now more attracted to bittersweet, subtle movies than the romantic comedies that I always loved.
Finally… (can you believe I watched 5 movies this weekend!!) I watched 2 tamil movies, the Tamil versions of Saathiya (Alaipayuthey) and Roja (although same movie is dubbed, I cannot stand mouths not matching dialogues, I take subs over dubs anyday!). And god these movies touched me on a level it never did when I watched Saathiya, and Roja in Hindi. Both movies have a lot to do with love after marriage, and I saw both before I was married, so I guess my feelings of love have changed. I felt so much more when the charecters fought/separated/re-united… because although I loved my hubby for many years, the way I love him after living with him can’t even compare to my feelings before. Trust me, I was never the type to ruin my sleep for anyone, yet last night when he had a fever, I found myself waking up every 2 hours checking his temperature and if the blanket was on him properly. And there’s a line in the movie Alaipayuthey that explains exactly how I feel now, which is “I realized that love is not what I felt when I was chasing after you to get you, but searching for you when I thought I lost you” and I know I never would’ve felt that line as much as I do now… I guess this is why people talk about age and wisdom…There is something really amazing about growing up….
Back to Blogging and Wii Fitt
Posted by: nazias on: March 28, 2009
Been busy with my dad lately, who hasn’t been feeling too well, so I haven’t been able to blog about many of the incidents that happened to me recently…so I have to play catchup!!!
I’ve also been packing the pounds and have been neglecting my Wii Fitt… I find that my blog is nicer to me…because after I went back to my Wii Fitt after not working out for 2 weeks, I received the following welcome message from my Wii Fitt….
Wii Fitt: So how’ve you been lately…How’s that belly feeling? Soft and full of fat right? Well that’s what happenes when you don’t work out for 15 days!!!
I have now returned to working otu everyother day on it again!!!
Karma
Posted by: nazias on: March 5, 2009
Karma…. I think I mentioned this before…I am a HUGE believer of Karma. I think what goes around really does come around.
The Snobby Gora Aunty
I was recently thinking about a few personal experiences… it was all triggered by finding a very old friend of mine from middle school. I lived in Connecticut for a long time when I was young. CT is a predominantly white state, or it was when I was there. Apparently a lot of South Asians from NY have recently moved there so it’s different now. But when I lived there, in my middle school I was one of 2-3 South Asian kids in my class of 400, and maybe a total of 5 in my school of 1200. I was constantly asked about the dots, the curry smells, thank god 9/11 didn’t happen back then, I can only imagine what I would’ve faced. Anyways, so I found my friend Mary. She was my best friend of 5 years. She loved me to death, she really did. She was one of the sweetest girls. Lived in the picket fenced white house, had a dog, a typical white mom and dad. But I have these awful memories of her mom. Her mom was very polite to me. But whenever she would drop off Mary to my house, or drop me home, she would make comments to Mary such as, “I hate dropping you off here, it’s such a bad neighborhood”, “Look, there’s a bar down the street, how can people raise kids here, what kind of values will the kids get?” She would make these comments while I would sit in the backseat, almost as if I wasn’t there. I never said anything, I thought I did live in such a bad neighborhood, and was embarrassed. Honestly, now that I think about it, we didn’t live in a shady neighborhood, there is hardly any shady neighborhoods in CT, it was just the downtown part of CT, and we lived in a rented Townhouse, while they lived in those pure suburban white neighborhoods with green lawns and apple trees. I just remembered her comments when I noticed where Mary is now in her life and where I am. Mary did not go to university, is now living her boyfriend who is Hispanic, doesn’t work, and pregnant. I’m not bragging or anything, but I couldn’t help but remember her mom’s constant comments about how my parents could raise me in such a bad neighborhood. And about her assumption on what values I was getting. I just now wonder what a grown woman got out of making a 10 year old kid feel embarrassed about her parents? And I wonder how she feels now about the values she has given her own daughter.
The Shallow Aunty
When I first got married, an aunty saw me, and the only comment she could say about me was that I was fat. As a new bride, its hardly the thing you want to hear. Recently I saw her son’s bride, and I found it ironic how his son’s bride has a good 200 pounds on me.
The Proud Aunty
There was this one aunty who was really proud of her sons. One was already very successful in school, and she was equally proud of her other sons were in high school. At every party she would make it a point to ask which university everyone’s son was going to attend or attending, and ask what program. Then proceed to brag about her sons. All through my university, she would ask me if I am still in Computer Science. But I don’t think she cared much about what I did, unless I guess if I went after one of her sons but alas she didn’t have the chance to say no to me, I was already taken But I would always watch her give advice to other aunties on how to raise gems like her sons. Then I went awol for a while and when I returned to society, I hear news of how one of her sons dropped out of high school, got into drugs and everything else. They tried to lie their way through it by saying he is attending university part time only to have the son tell others how he dropped out, is getting his GED. Nowadays the aunty hardly talks about her sons anymore when I see her.
The Loving Aunty
I know an aunty who was sweet, loving and did everything from her heart. Her oldest son got involved with drugs early on in his life. Dropped out of school, didn’t work, spent years just doing nothing. Even though she was always deeply sad, I never saw her bitter to others, or jealous, or try to hurt others. That same son, at the end of his 20’s went back to university, got his undergrad, got his masters, and is now working and recently got married to an amazing wife.
So what is the point of these little short stories?
That Karma(your actions) does matter. If you go through life purposely hurting others, it will come back to you. Maybe not in your life, but it might happen to your children. If you know someone has a weak point, don’t rub it in their face. Don’t purposely brag to others about what you have when you already know they don’t have it. I believe it’s different to talk about the things you have, and it’s very different to brag about the things you have. And people, especially Aunty’s, have a habit of bragging. I’m not perfect, but I try to reduce bad karma in my life as much as possible. Maybe that’s why I don’t fight with people, because I am human, and I think many things in my head that are arrogant, and mean, but I don’t act on them. The minute you act on a hurtful thought, you contaminate the air around you, and one day it will suffocate you. And the same goes for good karma, if you make others feel good, one day the air around you will lift you up and take you where you want to go. That’s just my 2 cents….
My Problem with the New Bollywood
Posted by: nazias on: February 27, 2009
For anyone who knows me, they know that I have always supported Bollywood. There was a time when I had 200+ pictures from Stardust magazine stapled and taped to my walk in closet, when I had 3000+ pictures of Salman saved in a binder, and was paying hundreds to go see Stars on stage. And that’s because the old Bollywood ROCKED. Starting from Late 80’s to about Early 2000 years, Bollywood was amazing. Great movies, great songs, great acting…and then something happened…and lately it all has started to annoy me. I’ll just create a list of what I’m sick of…
I am sick of…
- Everywhere the Bacchan’s go, (with Amitabh, Ash and Abhishek) there has to be some big commotion about the Bacchan’s being there. I’m sorry but Ash might be the most famous face from Bollywood, but as an actress she really has had very few hits, and the same with Abhishek. And it annoys me… she is not such a great actress… and he is not some bigshot actor… want to watch real acting? Go back to the 90’s and watch Kajol at her peak, watch Karisma in Fiza, Tabu in most of her movies… That’s acting! As for Abhishek, he’s very average to me, he lacks his fathers charisma, and is not even close talentwise to his father and mother, so honestly the attention they get, is getting annoying.
- Shahrukh Khan trying to act “Cool” in his movies even after being mid-40’s. The cool young roles does NOT suit him. I honestly feel he looks like the FOBs we make fun of in Canada. Its also not attractive seeing him acting with 21 year olds, theres no chemistry, he looks like their uncle and it kills the movie for me. What is so wrong of me to want to see him in some mature roles? But nooo…even in movies where he is supposed to be different like RNBDJ, halfway through he has to act like a teenager. Do you see George Clooney go and play a college students role nowadays? NO. Is Tom Cruise playing the same character he did in Top gun…NO. Is Will Smith still doing the same level stuff as he did in Fresh Prince…NO! But Srk is hell bent on trying to look young and its ridiculous. I actually stopped looking forward to his movies now.
- The (lack of) Clothes factor. Bollywood actresses nowadays can’t seem to tell the difference between sexy and slutty. Some of the actresses wear the sluttiest clothes nowadays that a hooker on church street would be ashamed to wear. Its like, kissing is a big deal in the cinema, but looking like a prostitute the whole way through is acceptable. If you don’t believe me, watch the movie Kidnap.
- The same faces ALL the time… theres only so much of Ash, Kareena, Srk and Saif I can stand…. It’s the same people ALL the time. Bollywood is monopolized by a few stars on top and new talents are hardly ever brought in unless they’re related to another star. I know connections are huge and all, but sometimes they should have open casting calls, maybe they’ll discover a hidden gem. I am sick of undeserving stars getting roles because of their famous family. Most of the people I know can’t stand Katrina (she can’t ACT! And know wearing short skirts and bra-tops is not considered acting) but she gets 50 times more roles than someone like Vidya Balan, who is well liked and very talented, but alas, has no Salman Khan to bully producers to give her roles.
- I am sick of the same people getting awards. 90% of the winners in the recent shows… its never the one who deserves it..it is always, srk, rani, preity,kareena, ash, abhishek, amitabh, srk, rani, preity,kareena, ash, abhishek, amitabh, srk, hrithik, kareena, ash, abhishek, amitabh…once in a while we will see a kajol, and Hrithik pops in time to time too…but you will never see Konkona sen beating out Ash for a trophy even though she deserves it more…
Everything is just so predictable and dissappointing nowadays. I wish I would get more movies like Life in a metro, Gangster, Rang de Basanti, Dil chahta hai…something that makes me say..wow that was different… Bollywood used to do that, even though the endings were often happy and cheesy, there was an effort to have some newness…like Dilwale Dulhania, HAHK, Andaaz apna apna etc. but nowadays its all garbage except for one or 2 jewels a year….
Boys Love Me…. Girl’s Hate Me…
Posted by: nazias on: February 12, 2009
So I had an internal company training thing today for IT people… one of my colleagues told me to network over there ’cause you might need to know someone in other divisions if you ever wanna move around etc.
So fine… I mentally prepped myself, gave myself little pep talks on how to start a conversation with someone…I know it comes easy for some of you… it doesn’t for me… I go through alot of anxiety when talking to someone new… I’m not funny…charming… or anything like that.. so I have always been the one sitting in the corner in a group…
1st attempt: saw a very attractive female in a nice suit come in, we looked at eachother, smiled, and I thought I found my target… but alas I couldn’t get the courage high up to approach her… she wa swya too pretty for me, i know my limits!
2nd attempt: the much older lady sitting next to me, spoke to her for a little bit while she complained…then I realized she resented all young people, because she kept syaing things like how my generation has it easy and how her daughter, who’s my age doesn’t appriciate what she has….ooookay
The russian lady in my table was too busy being a smart ass asnwering all the questions so I left her alone.
But while I was trying my best to make some female friends, the cute asian guy who was sitting next to me, kept making jokes, and asking what page we were on, where I worked and all that…and by the end of the day I had swapped e-mails with a boy, whom I wasnt even trying to network with simply because he was a boy…. WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO GET?
Well atleast i networked!!!!! It’s a step towards being more social!!! w00t w00t!
